Sarveswara’s Journey:

 It was the ultimate surrender to God that ended the Quest and began the Journey to know God. 

This surrender happened due to a series of extremely unfortunate events, I had hit rock bottom; such as, having to have an operation due to a cyst on my ovaries, then a few months later they returned and so had to have a complete hysterectomy by the age of 32.  Still living in the caravan near my parents. I was running out of funds because of the time I had to have off work due to the illnesses.  I also needed my own transport to get more work and dad helped my find a cheap little car. 

No sooner had I borrowed the money to buy it than a hail storm not only smashed the windscreen and caused hail damage to the entire body, but it also wrecked the caravans roof as one end collapsed, causing the rains to wash in and down into the annex section I had set up as our lounge.  With no insurance and no more money, and still recovering from the hysterectomy, I was a broken woman. After the storm had stopped, I went outside to view the damage.

It was then I threw my arms up into the air beckoning to God,  "I surrender to you God, who ever you are.  I am unable to help myself or my children, I have done all I can to start again, and it has all been taken from me.  I place myself and my children in your hands.  There is nothing I can do. I wait for the will of God to help me now, and take care of me and my children.

As it turned out that was the best thing I ever did.  From that moment on miracle after miracle came to me and things worked out.  I have never been without, since then I have always had more than enough in my now to survive and live comfortably. 

There was a transition stage that lasted 3 years.  In those three years, I meditated and practised more, more with my numerology and tarot, which in turn developed my intuition and psychic abilities.  I allowed myself to be lead by the universe and God whoever he was.  I kept focus on God, even though I still did not know who or what the Truth of God was.  But deep down I had the faith I would know when it was time.

 During the three years of transition, many events happened, that were magical and unexplainable, designed to purposefully strengthen my faith, at the same time my teacher was preparing his meeting with me, as I realised later.  Finally the day came when this student was ready and my spiritual teacher came to me.  The teacher that was to teach me, how to know God! 

The whole process is another book in itself, and far too long to write about here.  To be as basic as possible just to give you an idea of the connection that united my teacher and I, I tell you this; ‘Swami’, as I call Sathya Sai Baba, first came to me in a dream.  I was very angry at this little man who claimed I would be following him and become his devotee.  How dare this little Indian man tell me what I was going to do, and who I was going to follow, let alone trust and believe in about who he tells me God is. 

 In this dream he showed me who and what he was in the instant he took my hands in his. First he stepped forward out from behind these huge gates toward me where I was standing on this white dirt road.  I didn’t know where I was, but I knew it was where this man lives. 

 He welcomed me home to his flock.  I was very indignant, I didn’t know who this guy was, and had never met or heard of him before.  But by God I was going to look up all about him once I woke up from this dream, I remember telling myself that during the dream.  So I tell this man, I wont be agreeing to anything, and if knew me well enough as he says he does then he would know I have to research and decide in my own way if this is the Truth I have been searching for to follow. 

 He looked at me and with a little Indian nod and cheeky smile “Yes. Yes, but you will”, he said as a matter of fact and let my hands go and started to walk back toward the open gates.  He turned to me again and said “look at the gift I gave you in your hands”.  I looked and they were empty.  “There is no gift”, I moaned, “look again”, he motioned with his hands, I looked again and my hands began to glow with golden light, then I felt the most amazing whoosh of unconditional divine love wash over my entire body, it lasted for a good moment in time.  How I knew it was ‘Divine Love’, I couldn’t tell you, all I know is that it was a knowing, “it just was!”  

 I watched after him as he slowly turned his back to me and stepped inside the gates closing him inside from where he came.  “Thank you!” I whispered with my heart swelled with this love and gratitude, knowing he could hear the joy in my heart louder than the whisper of gratitude from my lips. Boy was I eager to wake up and check this strange little man out!  That is the moment I woke up … that is the moment magic really started to happen.

 

To cut out a lot of story and get to the basic point … I finally surrendered by prostrating myself at his feet one night in my bedroom.  I told Swami okay I don’t know why I want to believe and trust you, but I do.  So for me to devote myself to you as my guru and path to enlightenment, first you must allow me one wish.  I wish to be in the presence of your physical body in India for my 36^th birthday. 

 This was giving him 4 months to perform this miracle. If he did, then I would certainly follow him to the ends of time, no doubts about that. Talk about a fast worker, the following day a Lady I met a week prior, Liba, offered to loan me money to enable me to go to India.  She was already a Sai Devotee and she had received a message in her morning meditation. 

 I was due to arrive for a cuppa that morning.  She knew nothing of my intimate surrender to Swami last night, but still came out and offered this money specifically because swami told her I was to go to India to be with him, and he told her to loan me the money. 

 I couldn’t believe it, how miraculous was that?  But how can I accept this I thought, no way in the world could I pay the money back.  But so loud and clear I heard the words within…take the money I will take care of the rest.  So I accepted her offer. She was going to India herself, her and her Son Michael.  We talked about the whole thing and as it turned out I could go with them to India so that I did not have to go alone. 

 As time ticked by between then and the time we were to leave for India, much happened, my life, shockingly enough even to me, Liba became my mother In-law as I married her son Michael a couple of weeks before we were to leave. It turned out my daughter also came with us to India. As I said previously, this is a whole story in itself and it really deserves a book to be explicit about the details and share the miracles and divine intervention that changed my life forever.

 When we arrived in Puttaparthi and were in front of the Ashram gates, I was taken aback as the whole scene was that from my Dream, when and where Swami came to welcome me. 

 

 

 

I would so love to tell you all that happened while there, so much to share with you all, yet too much to share it here and now.

 All I will say  though is,  I am totally convinced that I am following the right path for me, and I am convinced that everyone will be shown the right path for them when it is the right time. Not everyone’s path will be the same, or be shown in the same way, but the Love and Truth we share is the Unity that binds us all together, which is why we as a human race can love and support each other through our many varied and different paths with no judgment but with a common theme, as they all lead to the same Truth; “LOVE, FAITH & TRUST in GOD”, God being universal.

Most of my poetry was written whilst in the journey  stage  ... to me the journey is the most difficult part of the path. One is taken up to the highest peaks and dropped from greatest heights to the pits of hell.  You will be taken to insanity and back, tethering on the edge.  You will be shown who you are by witnessing who you are not.

It is all designed to strengthen your devotion and faith in God till there is not one little ounce of wavering left within your mind, as you get to know not only God but your true divine self.  If it were on a graph it would look like a line of extreme highs and lows until it balances out to a flat line.  To get that flat line is a long arduous journey. 

There is no turning back, not once you have surrendered.  There is only ever moving forward till you get to the goal which is Self/God - awareness. You will plead to be put out of your misery at some of the lowest times, and you will be so highly charged with gratitude and love at other times you think your going to explode. 

"Ordinary", “worldly", people will judge you and think you perhaps a little if not a lot, crazy, and you will have to live in silence of your Truth around them until you are capable of expressing it with the fortitude that comes with time and knowledge. That is why there are ashrams and spiritual retreats in the world. For those who need support and rescue and or relief at prominent times in the journey; which only spiritually advanced souls, can give having been through the experience before you!

It is all Gods timing ... when you “AWAKE” ... all times are different for each individual, and some will wake with the snap of the fingers and others will go through years of struggle and preparation.  Very rarely does one awake very quickly ... although to those it does happen too it is written and they have been prepared prior to this life time for this event. 

Only God knows when it is your time.  The faith and trust you develop for God, is for that reason.  To trust in his timing and have faith he will provide not only the timing but all that is needed to prepare you for it.